IS IT RIGHT TO FANCY SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY TAKEN?

 Hello people it has really been too long. I apologise l have really been caught up at work. So browsing through Quora l came across this interesting topic which made me stop and read through it again.

So first looking at this question I was like what the hell it is definitely wrong and nothing good ever comes out of that relationship.

Don’t forget the good old saying that if he is able to cheat on someone with you then he will cheat on you with someone else. If that doesn’t scare don’t forget karma which says whatever you do to others shall be done to you. Now are you really scared.

After researching through this topic l am inclined to disagree with all those who say that is wrong. Situations and circumstances tend to differ and so in those cases different reactions will occur.

Situation 1: He is married.

Well in that situation there are no ifs and buts just stay away. Giving him a chance to explain is like reading a sign which says road closed and you continue driving ahead. Married people in 98% of the cases always work thing out and you are left nursing some terrible heartbreak so run away while you still can. What are the chances that you are part of the 2%.

Situation 2: He is engaged.

There is still a small window which gives you a chance. Before you do anything ask yourself why you fancy him. Is it because of shallow reasons like he is handsome and rich or is it because you really hate the fiancée and want to teach her a lesson? If those are your reason move away he is taken it will never work. Go out there and find your own single man.

Situation 3: He is dating.

Though the situation is not ideal there its not wrong to fancy him. You have the chance to go and lay out your feelings and see if he is interested. In this situation you can fight and get win the love of your life even if he was taken before. He is still fair game.

What do you think is it ok to fancy someone who is taken and act on it. I look forward to reading your thoughts and ideas about the topic.

GIVE UP ON GIVING UP

I know it sounds kind of ironic that l am telling you to give up on giving up. However when dealing with matters of the heart we sometimes have to give up on giving up.

I cannot count the number of times l have been disappointed in love. Yes that is  the story of my life. You end up thinking that all men are bad. Most might be but remember we come with a duty to repopulate the earth and bore our children about the stories of when we were young.

So now to today's discussion how do you give up on giving up. Here is my advice remember you deserve better. Here are my breaking and picking up steps.

How to deal with heart break

1. Cry cry cry. There are no awards for being strong and brave and locking it all in. You will just scar yourself for life. So people please cry buckets and buckets of tears. Think how much fresher your eyes will look it will compensate for the killer headache you will get.

2. Get angry.
For some people it is not easy to get angry at your ex because you feel you deserve what you got. but whether you were on the right or wrong side get angry and justify yourself. Others might say its not healthy but who cares about others right now this is all about you and no one else.

3. Forgive them.
This is the most important step which most people skip. forgiving someone is realising yourself from the prison bitterness had locked you in. Remember forgiveness is all about you. you accept what happened and learn to live with it. if you cannot forgive on your own you might ask for professional help.

4. Surround yourself with loved ones.
Now it is time to remember that you are lovable and adorable and worth it. Yes sometimes after a bad breakup we need people who will remind us why we are lovable. Their unconditional acceptance will sooth the pain away and you might just find yourself loving.

4. Move on.
After completing all the steps you are now ready for the final one moving on. Yes in the beginning it might seem impossible but soon you will realise that the next step is new adventure. Do not spend your life looking at the closed door because you might just miss new doors opening with even better opportunities.

These are the many different languages of saying No so lets use them to say No to giving up. Finally lets break out the wine and get ready to paint the town ready because we are giving up on giving up .. this is your reward for working hard and moving on. Giving yourself the chance for happiness.

Thank you all loved ones who look through my blog and l will love to hear your comments and your strategies on how to deal with heartbreak. If you have any questions at all about romance and dating don't hesitate to ask. My job and beloved duty is to go around offering unsolicited advice to everyone.

If you love my posts or hate them say it so that l know. You realise you have grown up when you know that no matter how much you learn you shall never know everything.

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HOW TO MAKE YOUR MAN FEEL SPECIAL WITHOUT BREAKING SWEAT.

 “Dating and Relationships: How do I make a guy feel special?”

Well today l have a special treat for all my valued followers. Instead of me writing this article l requested the expertise of a friend who l consider an expert in dating and relationships. He has never steered me wrong yet and l must say sometimes his advice makes me reflect on my actions. Getting angry at my boyfriend because he wanted me to return a necklace l got from a friend who was a guy. I was like whaaaat are you crazy it will be so embarrassing. But after a chat with my friend he made me see that it made my boyfriend uncomfortable looking at me while l was wearing jewellery from another man. His Neanderthal senses kicked up and said “Woman mine. Must protect and keep. Aaargh Aaarrrgggghhhh.” I think that it was running in his mind. 

To today’s guest who will answer the ultimate question for the love birds, “How do l make a guy feel special.”

Making a guy feel special is easy. You will hit yourself in the head for not thinking about it because it is that obvious. Wait for it and please remove any dangerous weapons near you.

He needs only two things to make him feel special just YOU and YOUR TIME.

Ha! It seems really obvious now combine the two together and you have a very happy man in your life. However if it was this simple then everyone would do it. So here are a few ways to light that feeling of warmth in him. WORD OF WARNING BE READY TO BE A SAPPY ROMANTIC.

1.      MAKE HIM A HERO

Yes show him that he is your hero. Once in a while be the damsel in distress yes we know about equality, we know that what a man can do a woman can do better but for your relationship sake be the damsel. It does not have to be something big like saving you from a fire it is simple changing a light bulb which reminds him that he is your hero. He sees a soft side which no one else sees and that makes him feel special.

2.      TOUCH HIS HAIR

It might seem like something small but touching his hair and rubbing the scalp is a big deal. It relieves the tensions of the day and makes him feel loved. Once in a while men want to forget to be the Iron Men of the world and just relax for a small cuddle. For added benefit put his head on your lap it makes it more intimate and loving and differentiates it from the nurse checking his head for lice.

3.      REMIND HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM

I say it every morning before he goes to work you might argue. Well continue with that but remember to say it when he is stressed and you are really angry him. Say it when he is making a tough decision that you will love him no matter what. Believe me it works wonders. Just a quick message as he is going about his day to remind him of your love.

4.      LEARN ABOUT SOMETHING HE IS INTERESTED IN.

It is not always sports people. You know him so really what does he care about that you don’t. Think of Penny in The big bang theory when he crammed a commentary about what Leonard’s geeky interest in star wars. It earned the title of the Best girlfriend on earth. Shock him one day with an accurate statement about an interest of his. It can be about rugby or something as unusual as hunting butterflies.

Try these tips they work. You will have a happy man and something special to look forward to on your birthday and anniversary.

Don't forget to share this article with your friends and pretty please complete the poll. The picture used are not mine.

IN RELATIONSHIPS WHO SHOULD BE MORE ATTRACTIVE THE MALE OR THE FEMALE

“IN A RELATIONSHIP WHO SHOULD BE MORE ATTRACTIVE THE MALE OR THE FEMALE”

Wow the questions people ask are sometimes really shocking. Yet this is a legitimate question, who should be more attractive? Recently I read an article " beauty isnt about having a pretty face." beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and l agree. Before l go any further would you date an ugly person? Do not lie to and say if she has a good personality even though she has the face like the back of a horse. Remember you are not a martyr and no one is forcing you to be one. If the person is not attractive to you leave them be you are not the last person on earth someone will see their beauty and love them for it.

Now moving on to today’s topic who should be more attractive in a relationship the male or the female. Generally people tend to argue that it is the female. As women we take a lot of pride in our looks and men really love to admire. So this is a win-win situation for everyone involved. As the woman your ego gets a boost every time you receive nice comments and the male gets a boost every time his friends call him a lucky dog. True story in China a man divorced and sued his wife for giving birth to an ugly baby. It turns out the woman had some plastic surgery done which made her easy on the eyes and tricked this guy in to marriage. Sensitive guy ha? Who calls their own kid ugly?

Now that we all agree the female should be more attractive we can leave right, wrong. As l said before looks matter and to be honest no matter how much we evolve there always will. It is not only the woman who is judged on looks men are too. If your girlfriend thinks you are ugly well sorry buddy but l think your days in that relationship are numbered. No one should ever settle for less than they deserve. For a relationship to last you must both think you are equally attractive. You must assume that people are dying for a chance to get your partner. It is healthy competition and possessiveness.

To conclude in a relationship you should both view each other as attractive. Forget society’s criteria on what constitutes an attractive person and instead really look at your partner. Does he/she have most of those qualities you think are attractive? I was going to say all the qualities but who needs perfection in the end perfection becomes boring and stifling. You know you are in love if you can even tolerate the annoying little qualities. Until then here is another cat to cuddle with.

All the pictures used in this article do not belong to me, unless stated otherwise.

WHEN YOUR EX DATES SOMEONE LESSER THAN YOU, LESS ATTRACTIVE, LESS OF A CATCH......

"How should I feel about my ex meeting someone new when the new person is less attractive, less well educated, less ambitious and generally less of a catch?"

Reading and browsing online l came across this question. I must admit for a second l was stumped. Not because she calls the new girl less but because we rarely voice out these thoughts. Normally we laugh along our friends and mock the new guy for his lack of taste.

I must admit l asked my friends this question and got a various number of responses. My friend x was really passionate about this question and gave a reply which stood out for me. She said moving on is choosing not to care about him any more, its choosing not to get caught in the same trap it is choosing to be blind to everything that happens to him any more.

I must admit l don't have a much better answer. Acknowledging the fact that we are humans and we cannot control our feelings every second of everyday, l personally think that we should try and move on. Stop concerning yourself about his life and anything that happens to them. For those who watch cheaters l am sure the most important thing we learn is that we need to create distance with our exes and then try and maintain that distance.

Next time l will be discussing the show Cheaters. I will really love to hear more from you about our topic today. Any additions, subtractions, divisions and multiplications. 

For the time being cuddle with this cute kitten it promises never to leave you ever. Meow 

Till next time do not forget to share this article with your friends and enemies and encourage them to follow this blog in my little corner of the world.

HOW TO GET RICH THROUGH BLOGGING A BOOK OF FALSE HOPE.

 the greatest challenge you have ever faced since you started blogging and how you overcame that challenge

Honestly, when l first stumbled across blogging it was through a book in the library. The book was written in capital letters and was titled "HOW TO GET RICH THROUGH BLOGGING". What the book failed to mention was that not everyone got rich blogging and the few that did get rich through blogging made their money by advertising the carrot in front of the donkey so that we are always trying to catch an impossible dream.

Do not get me wrong l am not bitter or angry about how hard this blogging experience has been for me. I am at that sweet spot where l am accepting everything that is happening to me with grace and hopping that just maybe success is following right behind it. 

The greatest challenge l have faced through blogging is the failure to attract a lot of followers. Unfortunately for me l am one of those people who are unable to give up on anything. Believe me it is both a gift and a curse. I have religiously followed all the advice offered by the gurus of blogging and l am still stuck in the same position l was before.

The hardest thing about not being able to attract any followers is that sooner or later you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to question all your great ideas and you start to adopt the writing styles of other bloggers because in your view there are able to achieve something great.

I remember there was a time when l had already given up and had spent months without updating my blog. I stumbled upon another who blogger who said for the first few months no one followed his blog not even his mother. No one was following my blog. I had done everything to encourage my friends including threatening to never speak to them (which was impossible to do) to begging them yet they still did not follow my blog.

However, slowly l started to notice growth in the number of people viewing my blog from my first follower who was a lady l did not know till a large number of people (in my view large is more than 5) started to take notice of my blog and to read my posts.

I overcame this challenge through the only tried and tested remedy which is patience. It is like watching rain droplets fall from the roof to the mouth of a thirsty person. It seems like forever before the rain drop is big enough to fall. If you wait patiently and in the same position for long enough the raindrop shall reach you too. For others it will happen immediately while some might need to wait for years before they can appreciate the number of followers they have.

Believing that it is not the number but the quality of the followers and being able to engage in discussions with them helped me appreciate my blog even more. 

HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE

Is the friend zone killing you. Are you getting mixed signals and do not know what to do about it. Don't worry as corny as it may sound the love doctor is here and she has come to tell you that the friend zone does not exist. If you don't want to be in friend zone simply get out. Do not give yourself reasons to stay within the friend zone. Love will kill you.

Others may ask how can l get out but everyone knows the answer to that one make a bold move and stick to it. Declare your feelings don't mumble about your feelings because you will get nothing. Cowards always play it safe the brave ones get both the prize and the glory take a risk for once.

Advice: Bite your nails the night before run around and do everything but try and think about what you are going to do.

LOVING AND SOB STORIES.. IS IT WORTH IT.

Recently l was talking to a friend of mine and l told him of my decision to never date anyone who comes with a sob story and he said l was being childish. Others may agree with him and think l am heartless and mean because it is not the fault of the children from the troubled families.

Well its also my life and l know l would not be able to handle their problems so l made the decision not to be involved wth them. So if l am on a date and someone tells me they were abused as children l kindly say goodbye to them and wish them the best in life. As heartless as it may seen with the rise in the crimes of passion l would like to remain safe thank you. 

There is a thin line between love and hate and it is very easy to cross. I know that people from stable families also have their troubles but l still firmly believe those problems are very much more manageable. Sopeople tell me your views am l being unnecessarily harsh on this group of people who were unfortunate enough to face a tough time when growing up.